Day two-two-hundred-seventy-three

Just as I was about to start writing today's post, I realized that today marks the point where year is three-fourths over. I can't speak for anyone else, but it certainly seems like the year has gone by fast. It seems like all the days are going by faster. That seems to be a consequence of growing older.

It looks like tomorrow's the day we are movng into the warehouse. They've begun moving racks around to begin accomodating us. We've been told that the cutter machine will be down for three to four hours as they move it out and get it reinstalled. We don't even know if it's goig to happen during first or second shift. All I know is that it's supposed up above 100 degrees by Friday, which means it'll be at least that warm in the warehouse. Pray that the lord would sustain us physically in the heat.

I got the opportunity to have my talk with Mervin this afternoon. I told that I felt I had been more stern in my refusal to work last Saturday than I had meant to be, that I appreciated that everyone was working hard and had been under the gun lately, and that I didn't want to have a bad working relationship with him. He accepted my apology and said that he respected people's days off to themselves. I'm glad I got the opportunity to talk to him and I'm thankful to God that he was understanding. I get along well with everyone at work and I'd like to keep it that way.

Day two-hundred-seventy-two

It's near the end of my last work break of the day, and I've been sitting here writing today's post. Suddenly iOS froze on my iPod touch, and when I reopened Safari, I found that my draft was lost. So what you're reading is attempt number two. Of course, I will now have to set this aside until I get home as break is about to end and I have to finish my can of Diet Pepsi.

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Update 11:22 pm- I just got home after pulling a half-hour of overtime. I think I'm more willing to do overtime if no one's actually asking me to do it.

 I didn't get the opportunity to speak to Mervin like I wanted. Pray that God would allow the opportunity and that I would speak to Mervin honestly and wisely. I want him to understand that I'm not interred in not working hard and that I understand that everyone's been having to work hard. I just had to walk away from the company for a couple of days and just not think about work.

I realize that this isn't much of a post, as I'm running out of time and I want this to be posted before midnight.

Day two-hundred-seventy-one

I got back to church this morning, discovering that our regular pastor Travis Allen wasn't there, as he is away at a conference. He and his family will be leaving soon for Colorado, where he will taking over a church there. I did get the opportunity to meet the new pastor who will be replacing him, Carl Hargrove, a man who had been with our church back in the early 90s, before pastoring in other church's in South Central Los Angeles and Inglewood. When I mentioned him to Mom and Dad, Mom recognized him immediately, while Dad thought that his name sounded familiar.

Anyway, today one of the other leaders in the group gave the second half of a message he began last week in 1 Corinthians 13, about godly love, its necessity, and its purpose. Any sort of ministry without godly love is worthless, like the noise of clanging bells Paul uses as a picture in verse 1. The love we should have is for one another's edification, seeking what is best for the other person and not for ourselves, and that which is glorifying to God.

I realized that in this way, my love has grown cold as of late. The verses that describe the nature of godly love (verses 4-8) convicted me of the fact that these qualities had been missing from my love. I had been become impatient, quick to anger, wondering when things in my life were going to get better. I had turned in on my own concerns rather than the concerns of others. I always seem to forget that at this point in my life, nothing makes me more miserable than about myself. When I'm turning that focus upward and outward, the. I remember very clearly God's goodness to me.

Pray for my spiritual growth, and that God would show me those opportunities to demonstrate His love to others.

Day two-hundred-seventy

Have I been writing for two-hundred-seventy days (give or take a day or two)? I know much of it isn't very good, but I'm still a little bit surprised that I've kept it up for this long. I've often thought about taking days off, but I just can't seem to actually do it. I really do feel a compulsion to keep writing each day, even on those days when I'm not feeling it.

I hate repeating myself, but I've often said that this blog was not intended to be a place to vent. It has been exactly that on more occasions that I can count. However, the unexpected effect of that has been that it has allowed me to sort things out that I was struggling with at that moment. Just having to take about how I want to word things for my writing has forced me to sort things out in my own mind.

One of the things I've often struggled with in my walk as a Christian has been my tendency to think obsessively mixed with a natural pessimism. It is all too easy for me to see the worst in a difficult situation and then compound it by harping on it in my own mind. I don't know if anyone else gets anything out of what I write, but I think God has used it to cause me to consider things differently than I would otherwise. For instance, in thinking and writing about work, I began to realize the difficulties facing my manager, Mervin.

Not only does Mervin have to deal with the day-to-day difficulties of running the digital department, now he also is dealing with the changes that are actively being made. He doesn't have what you would call a strong personality, and when some people from management came in the other day to consider how to fit another digital printer into the room, I could sense that he was perhaps being talked over and didn't quite know how to interject when he should be. It made me see that perhaps I could be doing more than I had been to help the room be run as best as it could, at least until we can get the additional help we desperately need.

…

This is another one of those times where I really started writing and I didn't know where things would go. Sometimes I like having something in mind to write about, but since that usually doesn't happen, I've become far more accustomed to just letting things go where they may. If I felt that I always had to have something to write about or I wouldn't write, I doubt this blog would've lasted two weeks.

Day two-hundred-sixty-nine

I'm posting late, but I wanted to get this posted as soon as possible. It's geting so bus at work, it's ridiculous. It's 11:15 pm as I write this, and if I were working tomorrow, I would have to be back there in less than six and a half hours.

Actually, I'm not exactly sure when the workday is going to start. I had been hearing that it was going to start at 5:30 am, but near the end of the day today, I heard it was starting as early as 5:00. I do not envy anybody working tomorrow.

It's so busy at the moment, that the third shift crew is working right now, and they normally work Sunday through Thursday. I'm thankful that, at least for the moment, all this overtime has been largely optional. I'm starting to wonder if that will remain the case.

Meanwhile, I plan to spend at least part of this weekend on my job search. I do want to move on at some point, as I just don't really have any desire to promote and the company is big on promoting from within. I really want to find that job thT I would really love to do. I could use some prayer about this, and I've been praying about it myself.

Okay, I need to wrap this up before I post late. I promise that tomorrow, I will try not to write about work. Let's see what comes along.

Day two-hundred-sixty-eight

Another early work day for me. I'm taking my 3:00 pm break right now.

A short while ago, I was asked if I could work a full shift on Saturday. I said "no". If we are being asked to work a full shift on our days off, I feel vindicated in my belief that we have needed more help, and I have been saying that for at least five months. I don't want to be a bad employee, and I don't feel I'm saying anything unreasonable. I don't like overtime and I avoid it when I can. I just feel that if we're being asked to give up days off to which we are entitled, then the company needs to address its staffing issues NOW.

The company kind of shoots itself in the foot in a way. They're very big on promoting from within, but then they are slow in filling the voids left when people promote. We have been dealing with being understaffed at least as long as I've been here (seven and a half months, and I hope not much longer).

I'm still looking for another job. I'm grateful to be working, honestly, but more and more I'm feeling the tug to move on. If anyone knows of a place in the San Fernando Valley looking for people, let me know. Especially, I'd like to try working in a Christian environment. Lord knows I could use the fellowship.

Day two-hundred-sixty-seven

I'm going to write this one quickly.

I'd almost forgotten about today's post because all my break times are off. Because I came to work an hour early today, every break is one hour earlier. I'm on my evening break, and because of the extra hour, I'm technically entitled to a third break at 9:30 pm. I don't think I'll take it. That's during the rush to get the last items out for the day.

I don't know if they'll need me to come early tomorrow. My manager said today and tomorrow we're going to be very busy, but today has seemed only slightly more busy than usual. Frankly, I'd rather come in an hour early than stay an hour later. I'm already going into overtime today as it is. At least, I can still leave on time tonight.

Day two-hundred-sixty-six

We found out today that we'll be moving out into the warehouse in about four weeks. We'll also be getting a second cutter and cutting machine, plus we are still set to get another packer. We'll see what happens.

We've already learned that we'll need I do some overtime tonight. I'm not staying later than 11:00 pm, as I'm still on medications for my back. They also want us to come early tomorrow, but I'm not sure how early. I figure 12 noon or 1:00 pm. I hate working overtime and typically turn it down, but for the moment, I don't think I can refuse it. We are already fighting to get caught up each day, so at present, things are not improving.

I know now that I'm not the only one who's been concerned about our increased workload in the wake of taking over the printing company in Chatsworth. We already seem to be inheriting their workload and it's putting us behind. Pray that we would be able to get done what we need to get done and that I would trust The Lord to hold us up.

I could also use continued prayer in finding another job. I've been poking around recently, and my fear is that I'm already at the best job I can have at the moment. I very much want to move on, even as I've prayed that God would grant me patience in the job I have now.

Day two-hundred-sixty-five

Today is the last day of summer. It sure seemed to go by quickly. These days, it seems like time is moving by quicker than before. My dad, who is 63, says the days seem to zoom by to him. It's funny to think it's been almost eight months since I started here at the printing company. It doesn't seem so long ago. When you're a kid, the days seem to drag, but eventually, it seems like we all get to a point where we wonder where all the time has gone.

Okay, time to change topics before this turns ridiculously sentimental.

I got to do two things this summer that I wanted to do. I got to go to the beach, if only for a couple of hours. Also, I got to take some time off work, even if I had to hurt myself to do it. Sometimes, you have to take your victories where you can find them. All things considered, I couldn't really ask for much more.

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Update 11:28 pm- I'm home now, having pulled a half-hour's overtime. I had to get home to take my medications for today, and once I take those, drowsiness can set in. Ana stayed til 11:00 as well, having already been there since 12 noon. When I got into work, she asked if they had contacted me to come in early as well, and I said they hadn't. Even if they had, I don't think I would've gone in early.

I only stayed late today because we had fallen behind. As if I needed more motivation to move on, now we're having to work overtime to stay caught up. Pray for wisdom and God's provision in all this. If we're falling behind just to get things done for today, we're going to start having all the same problems we had before, and I'm tired of being stressed out over this.

Day two-hundred-sixty-four

Right now, as I write this, the Beatles' film Magical Mystery Tour is showing on PBS. It's undoubtedly one of the strangest films I've ever seen. It's ostensibly about a group of people taking a tour on a bus and what they experience along the way, with some musical interludes. There really isn't a story to speak of, as the movie is largely improvised; a lot of things happen in the movie, but they don't add up to much of anything. There are magicians, as well, played by the Beatles themselves, but they have little to do with the movie's proceedings.

Being a Beatles project, the music is easily the best part of the movie. The soundtrack includes the title track, "I Am the Walrus", and "Your Mother Should Know":
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=08r4huUMPaI

This is easily the best number in the movie, as it's the one part that has some organization. It's difficult to pull off this kind of "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" randomness, as much of what happens isn't very interesting. The story goes that the Beatles loaded a bus full of people and filmed it if anything happened, and nothing really did.

I think I would recommend this movie solely if you are a big Beatles fan, except perhaps as a bit of a curiosity. It originally aired Boxing Day 1967 on the BBC, and was rather poorly received at the time, being the Beatles' first project to enjoy poor reception, despite the success of the adjoining album.

If you're interested in this kind of movie but want something better put-together, I would recommend the Monkees' 1968 film Head. It's still a strange movie, but it makes much more sense than Magical Mystery Tour, due in no small part to having an actual screenplay (co-written by Jack Nicholson). The acting talents of the Monkees themselves, Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Michael Nesmith, and Peter Tork, also enhance the movie, having just come off two years of their TV show, where they were encouraged to improvise.

Head plays with the idea that the Monkees were a real band of musicians who were also a fake band on a television show with actors portraying fictionalized versions of themselves. Even when they figure out the conundrum of their existence, it still adds up to a plot point in a movie about themselves written by someone else. Here is the movie in its entirety:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gVxriDM8h68

Day two-hundred-sixty-three

Not much going on today. One of the things I like about Saturday's is that I usually don't have to be anywhere. Because I work afternoons and evenings, I like being home on Saturday nights. It's been quiet today.

I had something in mind to write about, but it's completely slipped my mind. I can't remember what it was. Since it slipped my mind so easily, I guess it must not have been that important or worthwhile. I realize I've mentioned this before, but there have been several times when I've started writing where I never knew where the post was going.

The problem with this system of writing is that there is a temptation to keep going when I should stop. Since I have nothing else to say for today, I'll stop right now.

Day two-hundred-sixty-two

I'm not sure why, but today feels off. Something seems out of order or put of place. I can't of my finger on it, but I just have the sense that things are out of the ordinary. It may be nothing more than a feeling. Lord knows that my feelings can get the better of me, sometimes more than I'd care to admit. Maybe it's nothing. Probably.

Update 8:32 pm- It may be that everyone is having an off day. Guillermo just found that he had only cut a portion of a bnch of orders that had already been shipped. We just have to pack the rest, then we can adjust the shipping as necessary. The only odd part will be the clients receiving their items in multiple boxes, especially considering that the orders are small.

It seems like everyone is waiting for the weekend. For me, it seems like the week has gone by quickly, but today had dragged on. It occurred to me that at least part of the resin why I feel out of sorts is that I didn't sleep well last night. At least, I should sleep better tonight.

Plus, there's jo overtime on Friday nights, whether or not we get everything done. At this point, frankly, I'm not sure we will. It seems like we've spent the day playing catch-up. Oh well.

Day two-hundred-sixty-one

Today finally saw a break in the weather. It's starting to coll down again after a week of record heat.

I got paid today, and as expected, it's quite a bit less than I normally take home. Thankfully, my brother and sister are working now. Hopefully, my other sister. Laura will be able to find something soon. I just have to trust in God's provision, that He would meet our needs as He always has and always will.

Not much to say for today. Talk to you tomorrow.

Day two-hundred-sixty

Today's been an unusual day. Ana isn't here, as she went to take her oath of citizenship. She'll be back tomorrow, or she should, anyway.

For most of the first half of the day, I was packing and shipping by myself. It was pretty slow at the beginning of the day, but I've worked here long enough to now that it wouldn't stay that way. Nonetheless, it has been less busy today than it has been of late. Of course, as we head into fall, it's going to be busier and stay that way until mid-December.

I got another warning today about failing to clock in properly. I think this is the fourth time, and the rust I've received from Mervin. I don't mean to be careless about the timeclock, and it's a pretty stupid reason to get fired, which can happen eventually if I don't shape up. It's that it's become such a routine that I can do it without thinking about it, but that has also lead me to forget to do it. I just means that I need to pay closer attention to it. I do use it four times a day, after all.

…

Update 10:28 pm- It's the end of the day, we got everything done, thank God. It's been a good day.

Day two-hundred-fifty-nine

First, a quick note about work: today, we found out that when the weather starts cooling down, we are going to be moved back into the warehouse. It gets pretty hot in the warehouse, such that I have never seen the temperature dip below 70 degrees at the coldest of days. I'm going to be sweating a lot. Not good.

Okay, that's enough about work. Let's talk about someone else.
…

Today is my friend Eneida's birthday. When I asked her what she and her husband Rudy were doing to celebrate, she told me they were planning to go to dinner, and she invited me to come. I had to decline, as I had to be at work. You can probably guess where I wouldve preferred to be.

Eneida is the first woman with whom I built a friendship after I got saved. She is friendly, approachable, kind, and she loves The Lord. Eneida is a little on the shy side, which I can understand as I've always been a little uncomfortable around people I don't know. She's a good compliment to Rudy's gregariousness.

If I can be honest, I don't really know what Eneida likes about me. Then again, I don't really know what anyone likes about me. I just don't think of myself as a terribly likable person. I've just tried to be kind and open, something I've been motivated to be since The Lord saved me. God has blessed me with the people He's brought into my life and has allowed to be a blessing to others. The Lord has chosen to glorify Himself in enabling us to love Him and one another as we ought. As the Scriptures say, God is love. He has enabled me to love other people in a way I could never have imagined, and Eneida is one of this people.

Happy birthday, Eneida, and God bless you.

Day two-hundred-fifty-eight

12:20 pm- I'm starting today's entry early. I'm getting ready to go back to work for the first time in ten days. My sensation of wanting to go back to work hasn't completely gone away, but it's ebbed slightly. As I have the time to do so, I want to ratchet up my job search again. Again, I ask for your prayers as I continue my search, with patience and diligence.

It's been so hot these last few days. I feel very fortunate that I don't have to work in the warehouse today. I can't imagine how it's been this past week. I've worked in the warehouse on hot days, but it was never as hot as it's been. The news this morning said there is an excessive heat warning for Southern California through tomorrow afternoon. I'm sitting here in our dining room, lights out, curtains closed to keep the heat out, and I'm already sweating.

Thankfully, I don't have to ride my bike into work. If I had to, I'd be riding in the hottest part of the day and I'm honestly not sure yet if my back can take sitting on the bicycle seat, taking any bumps in the road. Even now, as I sit here on a dining room chair, my back is acting up a little. Hopefully, my back can take me being back on my feet for eight hours. I haven't done anything that physically demanding since the last day I was at work, Friday, September 5th.

Okay, I've got to leave it here. I'll be back later to let you know how my workday is going.

…

Update 4:09 pm- We're having a slightly later first break, as we just had our monthly production meeting. There's actually quite a bit of good news today. The company acquired another printing company in Chatsworth, so the business is actively growing. Today, they drew names and gave away iPod Shuffles and one iPod Nano. I also found out from my manager Mervin that we are finally going to get more people, one new packer each for 1st and 2nd shifts, plus they want to find someone who could be a cutter/packer overnight. I don't know when it'll happen, but thank The Lord it's happening.

…

Update 6:03 pm- My back is starting to get sore, but it's not too bad right now. I found out that Guillermo's girlfriend had her baby on Friday, so he's not here. We've got someone from 1st shift who's still here cutting, and he's already got four hours of overtime today.

I fell myself moving more slowly than I normally do. I'm certainly trying to avoid re-injuring my back, but it seems like we're getting everything done. At least, we're getting done what's due today.

One last bit of business: Mirna (who you may recall, replaced Ana in digital) just told me that she is being moved back outside. She said she preferred packing large boxes intake read of all the small stuff we tend to do. Ana is moving back into the room tomorrow. I think the company's been trying to figure out what has and hasn't been working in digital, and they realized that they were fixing something that wasn't broken in the first place.

Day two-hundred-fifty-seven

It's so hot as I write this, I'm sweating a storm just sitting here. I'm filling 7-Eleven Double Gulp cups and draining them, so I'm staying hydrated.

My back is doing much better today, as I continue to take my medications. I hope that things go well at work tomorrow. I just realized that I haven't been to work in nine days. I basically had an unpaid vacation where I could t be much of anything but take it easy and wait for my back to get better.

By the way, my anxiousness to get back to work is already subsiding. My job search has kind of fallen by the wayside this week, since for a few days, I didn't even feel comfortable sitting up to work at our desktop computer. Again, please pray that God would grant me diligence and patience in my job search.

…

I just discovered that two friends of mine have birthdays this week. I need to catch up with them and send them greetings for the day.

Day two-hundred-fifty-six

I've been off work for so long, I'm starting to get my days mixed up. I thought for a while that today was Sunday and that I had to go back to work tomorrow.

Not much to say for today. The medications seem to be working, thank God. I'm getting around a lot more comfortably, although I find it's not too comfortable to sit for prolonged periods of time. I'm trying to be as active as I'm comfortable being, as the doctor told me to avoid being too immobile, lest I start to stiffen up.

Again, I thank The Lord for His provision, and I thank those who've been praying for me. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work Monday, though I imagine it may fade by Monday afternoon. Pray that I would continue to search for another job, and for patience and diligence in doing so. I may be looking forward to going back to work, but it doesn't mean I don't want to find something better.

Day two-hundred-fifty-five

It's about 7:45 pm as I write and it's still hot outside.

This has been a strange week, having what amounted to an unpaid vacation. I'm actually starting to anticipate going back to work, something I never would've thought I'd be doing. I've been so eager to get out of there lately, it seems funny that I should be looking forward to going back.

Considering that I've spent much of the week in bed, I've haven't been sleeping too poorly. There's something to be said for being in discomfort causing exhaustion. Also, I'm on two prescription medications that can cause drowsiness, both of which I take at night. I don't seem to be sleeping any more ideas than before, but I seem to be sleeping more soundly.

Thank The Lord my back is getting better. He certainly heard my prayers over this, and I appreciate any prayers anyone else may have had. Scripture reminds that God hears our prayers and that fervent prayer from a righteous man avails much (James 5:16). May we all seek after the things of God to His glory.

Day two-hundred-fifty-four

Another day, another day off. It's no vacation. I'm getting to a point where I'm starting to anticipate going back to work, even a job I don't really enjoy.

Thankfully, the medication they prescribed for me seems to be working. I'm having less discomfort and I feel like I'm getting around more easily. I slept pretty well last night, most likely because both drugs had the potential to cause drowsiness. The good part was that they made me sleepy without making me feel drugged. Like my dad, I really don't like that "out-of-it" feeling.

…

Today is the thirteenth anniversary of 9/11. I was in eleventh grade when it happened. I was on my way to school when I first heard about it. Being both a teenager and unsaved, I would have to say that it didn't seem to make much of an impact on me at the time. I don't want to say that I was indifferent, but it seemed like it was having an effect on others that I didn't seem to have on me.

That said, the attacks did have one impact on me. After that day, I no longer had the idea of "it can't happen here". I used to think this country was safe because these kinds of violent acts were the sort of thing that always happened elsewhere, wherever elsewhere may be.

I don't really know what to say, but now that I'm older and saved, I can say that we can always lean on God in times of trouble, and Lord knows trouble comes in forms big and small. For the believer, we have the hope of The Lord and His purposes: "(B)ut we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us"(Roman 5:3-5). 

When trouble comes, we should be hiding ourselves in The Lord and His love and power. 

Day two-hundred-fifty-three

It looks like I'm going off for the whole week. I went to urgent care today and they suggested I take the rest of the week off. The doctor also wrote me a prescription for a painkiller and a muscle relaxer. So, I got a week off and all I had to do was hurt myself.

The one major downside is that since I won't be in at all this week, this next cheque will only be half of what it would be otherwise. Thankfully, my brother Joe and sister Olivia are working. Pray that God would meet our needs as I'm going to be coming up short and that He would lead my sister Laura to a new job.

I've already called my boss this evening to let him know that the rest of the week wasn't happening. He understood, and seemed to appreciate me giving him a heads-up early. I hope it hasn't been too busy, although as we get into autumn, it's only going to get busier and busier. I hope we get more help soon, and I hope I'll find another job as well. There's something else to pray about.

Anyway, I need to finish dinner now. I had some medication to take (on a full stomach, of course), and once I do that, drowsiness may set in. I don't want to have to fight through that to get this written and posted.

Day two-hundred-fifty-two

I'm home again today. Thankfully, my back is doing a little bit better, and I'm getting around a little more easily. Thank You, Lord, and thank you to those who've been praying for me. I think I'll take another day and see how things to. Besides, if I don't get to urgent care tonight to get a doctor's note, I'll have to go tomorrow and the urgent care clinic my insurance provides is only open 6:00-10:00 pm on weekdays. To those who are regular readers, you'll know I'm usually at work at that time.

It's been so hot these past few days, all I can do is just take it easy and even then, I just lay in bed, sweating profusely. With things being as they are, even as we approach the end of the summer season, it'll continue to stay fairly warm until about mid-October. At that time, the Santa Ana winds will pick up and then everyone will be worried about brushfire season. With there being a drought, it'll be an even bigger concern this year.

Whatever happens, we just need to trust The Lord in all things, as He is sovereign over all. It's too easy for us to be distracted by the things of this world, so we need to take the time to take all things to The Lord in prayer, as Peter wrote, "casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). I think we've all had those moments where we struggle with whether something is worth praying about. The verse makes it care that we ought hold nothing back from God, whether it be praise or concern, faith or doubt, whatever it may be.

Day two-hundred-fifty-one

I am not at work today. About an hour before I was due to leave, I hurt my back. I've spent most of this afternoon in bed, as being in any one position for too long hurts.

I'm not entirely sure what I did to hurt myself. I was rising from a chair at the dining room table when my lower back went out. When I can walk, I find myself leaning slightly turned to the right, and I'm walking at a slower rate. I'm also getting a little pain down my legs. I must be pressing on a nerve.

The last time I hurt my back, I got better when I unwittingly gave myself a lower back adjustment. Let me explain. I was sitting in the easy chair in our living room, and I was lifting myself up by the arms of the chair to walk back to my room. As I was suspended holding myself up by my arms, I turned my lower body and I felt and heard my lower back crack. At first, I thought I'd injured myself. When I got up, I felt relief in my back like I hadn't felt in several days.

Hopefully, my back will get better soon, as I don't want to miss much work. I've already got to go the doctor to get a note to to back to work, even if the doctor can't do anything for me.

Day two-hundred-fifty

I don't know what's going on, but lately it seems I've had an uptick in readership. There's no reason I can think of as to why that should be. These past few days have really been just about work.

It's funny, then, that I should turn someone onto the idea of trying to get hired where I work now, even as I'm trying to quit. At church this morning, I ran into my friend Brent, who I haven't seen in a few months. He mentioned to me that he had a friend who had moved into the area and was looking for a job. I mentioned that the printing company is looking to fill a couple of spots in shipping, and gave his friend the contact information. We'll see what happens.

Other than that, not much to say today. I go back to work tomorrow, something I'm not really looking forward to. That said, I think my attitude has changed somewhat, as I realize I can turn to God and pray for wisdom, diligence, and patience in pursuing another job and in doing the best I can in the job I have now. Pray that I would stay motivated to keep searching and that I would trust The Lord through all these circumstances.

Day two-hundred-forty-nine

I nearly forgot to write tonight's post, so it's going to be short and sweet.

I've begun searching for a new job. I updated my résumé this morning and began searching Craigslist for job postings. I sent out a couple of emails to follow up, one of which is for an optical lab technician, to make prescription eyeglasses. I hope to get that one. Pray that I would be patient and diligent in my search and The Lord would lead me somewhere soon.

Other than that, there's not much to stay. I've spent much of the evening watching old episodes of the 50s-era Dragnet on YouTube. There's something about seeing it in grainy black-and-white that gives it a hard edge that the 60s version lacks somewhat. It also doesn't have the social commentary that the 60s version tended toward. It's rare that you get to see the same people handling the same sort of material in two distinct ways.

Anyway, I should wrap this up; otherwise, I'm going to miss another day.

Day two-hundred-forty-eight

I've had enough. I'm legitimately worried that I won't be back Monday and it won't be because I got fired. It'll be because I've hit my limit of wha I can take of this nonsense.

We have had recurring issues of being understaffed almost as long as I've been working in digital, and that will be seven months September 10. I've mentioned to management repeatedly that we need more help in digital. We have needed another person and while we can get occasional help, it's not enough. We don't need occasional temporary help, we need someone permanent. Just having the extra person would solve (or at least to a long way toward solving) a lot of the digital room's problems.

It sometimes feels like I'm shouting into the wind, the way management has been slow to resolve the issue. The whole warehouse suffers from being short-staffed. If we get help, we're taking it from somewhere else. We need to hire more people, and management seems to be aware of this, so I don't really understand what the issue might be.

Whatever the case, I think I've finally reached the end. In the warehouse, there is a white dry-erase board marked "Voice of the Associate", where we may put up questions or concerns we may have. Tired of not getting anymore talking to management, I finally posted a note saying we needed another person, and asking when that might happen.

Less than an hour, a response was posted:

"Do you want fries with that?"

I don't know who posted it and I don't care. I'm just ready to wash my hands of the whe situation.

Day two-hundred-forty-seven

Gotta post this early tonight. I'm going out with Mom and Dad after work.

Today was better than it's been in a while. I've begun committing to prayer that I stop caring about my work more than I need to. I think that's been wearing me down as of late. I don't want to grow unconcerned with my work, and I think I needed to realize that I was truly caring too much.

Also, I had the chance to talk to Mervin about making a change in the digital room. Specifically, I asked if there were still plans to bring in someone to just work on roll labels, and I said I would be willing to do that. Mervin told me he would bring it up in the next meeting, but admitted that it would leave digital short-staffed, and the warehouse is already trying to fill two empty spots. I'm praying things will change, but it's not likely things will go my way on that front.

Anyway, I have to wrap this up and get back to work.

Day two-hundred forty-six

I hate my job, and I hate how much I care about it.

I realized today that I care way too much about my work. I don't know if I've been making myself do that (I probably have), or if it's being out in the position of feeling like I have to care more because others are t caring enough. I think both are true, really.

I'm at the point where I don't really care if I don't have another job to go to. I want out of the one I have now, and my fear is that I will walk out, not look back, and not care about the consequences.


Lord, help m to be patient lest I quit when I shouldn't and suffer the consequences.

Day two-hundred-forty-five

Good day at work. It's a better workday than I've had in a couple of weeks.

Ana's back from Vancouver, which I'm glad about. I don't have to run the room now. Jeremiah told me that there might be a change made regarding digital and that it might affect Ana. The reason he asked me if we should make a change was so that he could offer his opinion on how that change should be made.

I want to continue my job search, but God seems to be answering my prayer for having patience. I don't feel that same sense of pressing urgency that I had last week. I think it would've led me to make a very poor choice. Besides, I always have the freedom to look for something else in the meantime. I do hope and pray that God would lead me to a job I'd really love, where my skills would be best put to use.

…

I have another coworker you can keep in your prayers. I found out from a coworker named Carlos that he had an anxiety attack at work last week, and took the rest of the week off. It seems likehe hasn't been doing well lately. Keep him in your prayers.

Day two-hundred-forty-four

It's funny, I'd normally be at work right now. This weekend seems like it lasted long enough, but today has gone by quickly.

Not much for today, as I only did a few of the things I planned to do this weekend. I followed up on a handful of job opportunities on Craigslist that turned out not to be much of anything. I'm still looking, though, little by little. I had some work around the house, but I only got part of it done.

I've been asked to make a decision about the way the digital room at work is run. Jeremiah came to me on Friday and asked if I thought we should keep Ana in there, or if we should bring in Mirna, who worked with me all last week. I thought and prayed about it for a while, but I think we should keep Ana. The digital room has a lot of issues, but why fix what isn't broken? Besides, If Ana wants to run the room, she can keep on keeping on. If and when I leave, then I would recommend bringing Mirna in, as she does work well in there.

Anyway, it's back to work tomorrow. If there's an upside to the end of a long weekend, it's that it marks the start of a short work week.