Day two-hundred-seventy

Have I been writing for two-hundred-seventy days (give or take a day or two)? I know much of it isn't very good, but I'm still a little bit surprised that I've kept it up for this long. I've often thought about taking days off, but I just can't seem to actually do it. I really do feel a compulsion to keep writing each day, even on those days when I'm not feeling it.

I hate repeating myself, but I've often said that this blog was not intended to be a place to vent. It has been exactly that on more occasions that I can count. However, the unexpected effect of that has been that it has allowed me to sort things out that I was struggling with at that moment. Just having to take about how I want to word things for my writing has forced me to sort things out in my own mind.

One of the things I've often struggled with in my walk as a Christian has been my tendency to think obsessively mixed with a natural pessimism. It is all too easy for me to see the worst in a difficult situation and then compound it by harping on it in my own mind. I don't know if anyone else gets anything out of what I write, but I think God has used it to cause me to consider things differently than I would otherwise. For instance, in thinking and writing about work, I began to realize the difficulties facing my manager, Mervin.

Not only does Mervin have to deal with the day-to-day difficulties of running the digital department, now he also is dealing with the changes that are actively being made. He doesn't have what you would call a strong personality, and when some people from management came in the other day to consider how to fit another digital printer into the room, I could sense that he was perhaps being talked over and didn't quite know how to interject when he should be. It made me see that perhaps I could be doing more than I had been to help the room be run as best as it could, at least until we can get the additional help we desperately need.

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This is another one of those times where I really started writing and I didn't know where things would go. Sometimes I like having something in mind to write about, but since that usually doesn't happen, I've become far more accustomed to just letting things go where they may. If I felt that I always had to have something to write about or I wouldn't write, I doubt this blog would've lasted two weeks.