Something that has become clear to me very recently is how I am still very prone to worry.
Today, I submitted the form to get the paid time off I've wanted at Christmas, as I've finally accumulated enough time off. When I brought the form to my manager, Mervin, he held onto it and said he wanted to talk to me about it first. That discussion hasn't happened yet.
Of course, I grew concerned that I might not get the time I've wanted because of the absences I've have. From the day I began in February through today, I estimate that I've been twelve days for illness. Only twice have I failed to bring an excuse, as I didn't have a note since I couldn't see a doctor to get one. I have never been penalized or otherwise questioned about my absences as I've always called in beforehand. I've never even been considered late.
Christina told me not to worry about it when I told her my concerns. Proverbs 3:5 reminds us to "Trust in the Lord with all (our) heart(s) and lean not on (our) own understanding". I confess that I do the opposite. I'm all too willing to trust myself and doubt The Lord. I know that's wrong and it's something I sturggle with, mightily. When I try to understand what God is doing on my own, all too often and too easily I lead myself astray. I need God's wisdom, and as sinners, I think our natural bent is to resist such wisdom. I've been praying that The Lord would help me in this, and I would ask that you keep me in your prayers. I appreciate that very much.
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