Day one-hundred

I've spent most of the last day thinking about whether I should take the new position or not. I've prayed about it, asked people to pray about it, and I still have others I want to ask about it.

In thinking about all the factors involved (which has put me in a bad mood most of the day), I've come to an important realization: I'm willing to take on a position of responsibility, but I'm not sure if I want to do that here, where I work now. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't want to do that, because I honestly don't like where I work. Even the prospect of a raise is not enough of an incentive to make me want to take it.

It's begun motivating to consider what I really want to do, and what I'm willing to do. Right now, I'm willing to do a job I don't like and don't find rewarding, if only because I don't want to do a bad job with the one I have now. I want to do something I really enjoy, something that I find rewarding. Of course, we are called to glorify God in all that we do, but I'll admit it's something I really have to pray that I would do.

The more I think about it, the more I think the only reason I have for refusing the new position is simply that I don't want to do it.  It's definitely a more stressful job by my manager's admission.,the job I have now already has its stresses without the addition of having to deal with managers and delivery people and handling freight, all of which I would be doing if I took the job.

Anyway, I have to make a choice soon. Pray that God would grant me the wisdom to make the right choice.

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Update: Things have chaned since I added today's post.

My boss took me aside to discuss some work-related issues withe, and happened to ask if I had any time to think about my decision. I told him I wasn't sure. He said he understood and that it was something I should be sure about. He also said that if I changed my mind in the next few days, to come and see him.

The thing is, getting it all out in the open made me realize that I was resisting the right choice. Deep down, I knew I should say "yes", but I was fighting it. I kept trying to justify it to myself, that I wasn't ready, that I was unhappy.

Now that the truth is out, I feel a lot better about going forward, especially since I stopped fighting it.