Okay, I don't know how I did this, but I seem to have screwed up the number of the day. Today is the 229th day of the year, but I thought it was the 228th. This means that somewhere in the past, I've inadvertently missed a day somehow. Whatever the case, I'm going through the days to see where I missed up.
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Okay, I've looked back through the blog archives and I can't figure out where things went wrong. Oh well. Maybe no more naming things after which the day of the year.
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Last Friday, I had a realization about myself (yes, this is what I've been saying I would write about since Friday). I've been praying that God would show to me the hidden sins in my heart.
And He showed me. Boy, did He show me.
He showed me how much I resist God, that I resist yielding to His will and that I resist being patient with Him, even as Scripture reminds us to be of good courage and wait on The Lord (Psalm 27:14). It was made quite clear that I had been fighting this.
If you have never prayed that God would root out those sins so deep you don't even realize they're there, I would advise you to be prepared to learn some very unpleasant, even painful, things about yourself. Don't let this discourage you. I'm actually trying to encourage you to do something that is for your good, as God corrects His own children, and that that correction can sometimes be very painful.
Also, don't dwell on the sins that come to the surface. Confess and turn from them, and trust on God's faithfulness to forgive (1 John 1:9). Be mindful of God's faithfulness to forgive and be grateful, remembering that God has forgiven those sins, even as you yourself were unaware of them. Let that also be a motivation to keep confessing and turning from that sin.
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