Normally, I would write a fairly detailed summary of the plot, but that's not really necessary for this "classic". The plot is as follows:
Martian children are depressed, and the King of Mars, Kimar, is told that Mars needs a Santa Claus. Despite the objections of a renegade Martian, Kimar abducts Santa to Mars along with two kids, Betty and Billy Foster. The renegade Martian, Voldar, tries to undermine Kimar and Santa's efforts to bring Christmas to the children of Mars. However, Santa stops him with the help of the kids and of Dropo, a goofy but kindhearted Martian who Santa makes the official Santa Claus of Mars.
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I don't want to give this movie any more attention than it deserves, because this movie was the worst thing I've had to watch for these Christmas reviews. Instead of writing a fully detailed review, I'm just going to write bullet points listing some of my observations.
-This movie doesn't seem to have been made for a lot of money. There are a couple of action sequences where it seems the only direction was "Whatever you do, don't break anything! We don't have the money to replace it if it breaks!" Also, one scene features the worst polar bear costume I've ever seen; it's hard to generate suspense if I'll have to be intoxicated for you to begin to be scary.
-Santa Claus is about the most unlikable character in this movie. He tries to say funny things but none of what he says is funny; he's so bad even the kids in the movie don't laugh at him and typically, child characters would be written to find everything Santa says wildly hysterical. If anything, it gave my brother and I the impression that the child actors were the only ones who realized what a stinker they were making. Also, he has kind of a creepy vibe about him. It might be due to the fact that the actor playing Santa opted to affect a rather sinister laugh rather than just doing the typical "Ho, Ho, Ho!"
-I have a hard time imagining anyone actually enjoying this film as a "good movie". It's so boring that adults would fall asleep trying to sit through this with their kids. As for kids, I can't really see this movie holding a child's attention for very long. A lot happens, but none of it adds up to much. Also, the movie takes nearly a half-hour to get going plot wise. That's far too long for an eighty minute movie, and if given a choice, I can't picture a kid sticking with this movie for the long haul.
Can't recommend this film, unless you're an aficionado of bad cinema.
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Okay, that's done. I promise things will be better tomorrow. Just know that I've been sitting on this movie for the last couple of years, but I finally sat down and finished it. I guess I can cross this one off the list.
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