When I get off work tonight, Mom and Dad want to take me out to get a late meal. I got off at 10:30 pm, so about the only place open at that time is Denny's. We went out like this before back in May, if I recall correctly. I think it's because the hours I keep mean that I tend to be excluded from get-togethers, and as such, I don't see much of friends or family during the week.
This actually dovetails nicely into the subject I had planned to write about yesterday. I held off in the end because I wanted to give it the time and attention it warranted.
Lately, it seems like I've been spending a lot of time on my own. Whether it's just circumstance or lack of opportunity, I've not been spending much time with others. The hours I keep make it difficult to get together with other people, and the fact that I've had to drop out of my Bible study for work reasons.
Whatever the case or reason, if there's anything I've learned time and again, it's that when I find myself not engaging others as I should be, my behavior and my attitude turn bad. I find myself turning mean, bitter, self-indulgent, and just generally feeling rotten. I've learned that I can't trust my feelings, and that I ought to be trusting God with all my heart. However, I still find myself having to deal with the sinful reality that I still so often let my feelings dictate my attitude.
It's also still very difficult for me to reach out to others. I spent so much of my life turning inward, away from others, that even today, my inclination is to retreat when I ought to be reaching out. When I'm struggling with something, I ought to be taking it to The Lord in prayer, and sometimes I've been reluctant to do so. When it comes to engaging my brothers and sisters, I find it still all too easy to hold them at arms' length. Galatians 6:2 says we are to bear each other's burden, and in doing so, we fulfill the law of Christ. As I sit here writing this, I've thought about how I've kept myself from others out of fear and pride, but I've realized that I failed to look at things from the other side. What it there was someone who needed me or could have used my help and I wasn't there to give it? What if I didn't take advantage of a spiritual opportunity?
That's one of the good things about writing this blog: it has sometimes helped me to put things in perspective.
It's such an easy temptation for me to wonder if God is tired of hearing about my problems. Rather than dwell in a sinful attitude, I ought to be taking my troubles to The Lord, as 1 Peter 5:7 says, "(C)asting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."
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